The Irony Is Thicker Than Britney Spear's Waist...

"Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, eat twinkies every day."

Did you ever hear the story about the guy who spent months writing through the unquestionable worst time in the sporting year, but then when something interested actually happened went silent? It's a funny one...

The triple whammy of engineering school work, actually having sports to watch, and applying for an exciting (though non-paying) writing gig have conspired to keep me pretty silent for awhile. I've got a free half second though, so I'm going to try to hit everything I want to get done right here in this post. It's go time.

A Wiki-What

1. Hired after Florida gave up 62 points to Nebraska in the 1996 Fiesta Bowl, Bob Stoops was given carte blanche over the Gators defense and that season, he was part of the Gators' 1996 national championship over Florida State.

"But we payed good money to get that call!"

2. From his days as a football player at Iowa, Bret Bielema has a two-inch tattoo of a Tiger Hawk (Iowa's logo) on his calf, which he has stated he will not remove, despite being the coach of the Big Ten-rival Wisconsin Badgers.

"Your not doing that to my wife just for a few holding calls."

3. While at Salem and Samford, Terry Bowden coached quarterback Jimbo Fisher to a NCAA Division III National Player of the Year award.[6] Fisher later became quarterbacks coach for Bowden at Auburn, and after much success as the offensive coordinator for LSU, is now the offensive coordinator at FSU for Bobby Bowden.

"Dag Gummit, how much did Pops used to pay them?"

Top 5


"I always love a good manly pre-game hug."

"Your going to try to throw how many picks today?!"

"I see your right hand is a extra happy to see me."

"Nah, that Peyton kid will never make our career totals looks embarrassing."

"We'll just blame it all on a sub-par supporting cast, OK?"

Deep Thoughts with Tired, Out of Idea Guy (a new feature invented out of laziness)

1. Why couldn't OJ have decided it was a good idea to jack all of his memorabilia back during the summer when I was desperate for material. I'm beginning to think that guy doesn't care about anyone but himself.

"If the glove don't fit, then OJ is still a murdering scumbag."

2. I believe the term Art Shell Face should now be an accepted phrase for all sports fan's to know. For those not in the know it was coined by Bill Simmons to describe how Art Shell looked on the sideline during a game. Basically, it means you stare randomly off into space and look incredibly depressed/disconnected from reality. Watch Randy Shannon, Miami's new football coach, I believe he owes Art Shell some royalties because he uses is 24/7. He emotes about as much as Britney Spear's avoids Krispy Kreme.

Randy Shannon immediately after sleeping with Giselle and Tom Brady

3. Anyone else notice that the current top 5 rated passers in the NFL are respectively: Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Jeff Garcia, Jack Delhomme, and Matt Schaub. There draft positions were 6th round, undrafted, undrafted, undrafted, and 3rd Round. This obviously proves that you should never invest a first round pick in a quarterback. Teams should probably look elsewhere early in the draft. Like Fullback or Punter. Now those are game changers.

"I hope T.O. doesn't out me to."

That's it! Were done! This post is 100% over! I win! Good night Canada! Enjoy this.