The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box. As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 23, spoken by the character Atticus
Early in the history of fantasy football racism was wide spread. Weird rules such as, "the white man always get Jim Brown," were constantly ruining the game. Today, racial harmony abounds after the efforts of Atticus Finch in the famous "Scopes LT2 Trial". To celebrate the harmony, it's time for another Mock Mock Draft. Let's get moving.
The waiver wire was not always so clean and simple...
The waiver wire was not always so clean and simple...Round 1:
This could actually end up being Mock Draft 1 Directors Cut. I've got the top pick again. And it's LT2 of course. Choosing LT2 is like Halle Barry. Just do it.
#2 Steven Jackson
#3 Larry Johnson
#4 Frank Gore
#5 Joseph Addai
#6 Shaun Alexander
#7 Brain Westbrook
#8 Willie Parker
#9 Peyton Manning (always somebody...)
#10 Willis McGahee (huh?)
Not a single auto-pick in round 1. A true Christmas miracle.
Round 2:
I can only hope a good back falls to me at #20 overall. Commence praying. The Greek God of Fantasy Football Drafts is Pluto. Not alot to do but play FF in Hades.
1 pick from getting Ronnie Brown. Gotta take Cedric Benson again.
Round 3:
Thomas Jones. So far I'm 3/3 copying last time. I keep getting the feeling that I should be picking a top WR there though. I just see too many other true #3 or possibly #2 backs sitting down below Thomas Jones.
Round 4:
I'm hoping for Houshmandzadeh and Boldin in 4 and 5. And yes, I know how to spell Houshmandzadeh from my head.
I can't believe how highly Marques Colston is rated. I would never take him in front of the guys I'm hoping for. People taking him in Round 4 I believe are going to be disappointed. Not very, just some disappointment.
Roy Williams. I didn't think he would still be around when I was praying to Pluto.
Round 5:
Anquan Boldin, everyone's favorite 5.6 40 WR.
Round 6:
Come on Adrain Peterson. I need Adrian Peterson like a fat kid needs a well balanced diet and exercise program.
Already gone. Someone jumped 10 spots down in the rankings and took him.
Hines Ward. I took him over Santana Moss because he is more consistent which is what I want out of a bye week back-up with some elite receivers starting. Maybe Santana Moss would have been better though...
Round 7:
Jamal Lewis. I just couldn't take Ladell Betts. I just see him and Portis sucking it up splitting carries all year as neither gets hurt. I just know Jamal is going to suck it as the starter for the browns probably anyway though. It's all hope at this point. It's a fourth back though. How good does he have to be?
Still no computer pickers. This is amazing.
Round 8:
Ward has averaged 8.6 TD's the last 5 years and is only 31. Plus Roethlisberger will likely play better this year than last which will help Ward catch more than the 6 he caught last year (11 in 05). I feel good about that now.
I'm two picks from getting Laddell Betts. Praise be to Pluto.
Nevermind. He went. Back to plan B. Leinert and Culter. QB's have been going earlier than before so no Romo and Rivers.
Boom! Matt Leinert.
Round 9:
Boom! Jay Cutler. That's a good 1-2 Platoon.
2 Auto-pickers now. Still pretty good if 80% are still present.
Round 10:
Bernard Berrian. I'm just lukewarm on everyone else.
Round 11:
Michael Turner. Handcuff pick. I don't know why I did that though. I don't even really believe in handcuff picks.
I'm drafting like a dumbass right now.
Round 12:
I can't decide between Santonio Holmes and Calvin Johnson. It's my 5th WR so I think its time for a risk with the man who surely is using some of his signing bonus to kill Reggie Ball.
3 Auto-pickers. Still not bad.
They stole Calvin Johnson. I will never forgive that. I had to take Jason Campbell, who I believe will play well this year, here.
Round 13:
Jason Witten. Best TE I've gotten in these Mock Mock Drafts so far.
Round 14:
Denver Broncos D. Gonna be good.
Round 15:
Dallas Cowboys D. Gonna be good.
Round 16:
John Kasey. The good old long bomber.
This could actually end up being Mock Draft 1 Directors Cut. I've got the top pick again. And it's LT2 of course. Choosing LT2 is like Halle Barry. Just do it.
#2 Steven Jackson
#3 Larry Johnson
#4 Frank Gore
#5 Joseph Addai
#6 Shaun Alexander
#7 Brain Westbrook
#8 Willie Parker
#9 Peyton Manning (always somebody...)
#10 Willis McGahee (huh?)
Not a single auto-pick in round 1. A true Christmas miracle.
Round 2:
I can only hope a good back falls to me at #20 overall. Commence praying. The Greek God of Fantasy Football Drafts is Pluto. Not alot to do but play FF in Hades.
1 pick from getting Ronnie Brown. Gotta take Cedric Benson again.
Round 3:
Thomas Jones. So far I'm 3/3 copying last time. I keep getting the feeling that I should be picking a top WR there though. I just see too many other true #3 or possibly #2 backs sitting down below Thomas Jones.
Round 4:
I'm hoping for Houshmandzadeh and Boldin in 4 and 5. And yes, I know how to spell Houshmandzadeh from my head.
I can't believe how highly Marques Colston is rated. I would never take him in front of the guys I'm hoping for. People taking him in Round 4 I believe are going to be disappointed. Not very, just some disappointment.
Roy Williams. I didn't think he would still be around when I was praying to Pluto.
Round 5:
Anquan Boldin, everyone's favorite 5.6 40 WR.
Round 6:
Come on Adrain Peterson. I need Adrian Peterson like a fat kid needs a well balanced diet and exercise program.
Already gone. Someone jumped 10 spots down in the rankings and took him.
Hines Ward. I took him over Santana Moss because he is more consistent which is what I want out of a bye week back-up with some elite receivers starting. Maybe Santana Moss would have been better though...
Round 7:
Jamal Lewis. I just couldn't take Ladell Betts. I just see him and Portis sucking it up splitting carries all year as neither gets hurt. I just know Jamal is going to suck it as the starter for the browns probably anyway though. It's all hope at this point. It's a fourth back though. How good does he have to be?
Still no computer pickers. This is amazing.
Round 8:
Ward has averaged 8.6 TD's the last 5 years and is only 31. Plus Roethlisberger will likely play better this year than last which will help Ward catch more than the 6 he caught last year (11 in 05). I feel good about that now.
I'm two picks from getting Laddell Betts. Praise be to Pluto.
Nevermind. He went. Back to plan B. Leinert and Culter. QB's have been going earlier than before so no Romo and Rivers.
Boom! Matt Leinert.
Round 9:
Boom! Jay Cutler. That's a good 1-2 Platoon.
2 Auto-pickers now. Still pretty good if 80% are still present.
Round 10:
Bernard Berrian. I'm just lukewarm on everyone else.
Round 11:
Michael Turner. Handcuff pick. I don't know why I did that though. I don't even really believe in handcuff picks.
I'm drafting like a dumbass right now.
Round 12:
I can't decide between Santonio Holmes and Calvin Johnson. It's my 5th WR so I think its time for a risk with the man who surely is using some of his signing bonus to kill Reggie Ball.
3 Auto-pickers. Still not bad.
They stole Calvin Johnson. I will never forgive that. I had to take Jason Campbell, who I believe will play well this year, here.
Round 13:
Jason Witten. Best TE I've gotten in these Mock Mock Drafts so far.
Round 14:
Denver Broncos D. Gonna be good.
Round 15:
Dallas Cowboys D. Gonna be good.
Round 16:
John Kasey. The good old long bomber.
That's it. I'm 100% done mocking this draft up. After seeing my skills in action your welcome to hire me for your draft for the low price of $250 an hour. Just call 1-800-DRAFT-ME. Guaranteed to be almost as good as throwing your money into a fiery pit.
