The Oizodd Couple (Snoopized to Attract the Kids)

Premise:
Two people of opposing personalities are forced to share an apartment together. Standard sitcoms hijinks ensue.

Staring:

Jim Mora former Indianapolis Colts Head Coach


The always media friendly Jim Mora is forced to move into the small apartment after assaulting a Girl Scout over her cookies being stale and losing a 10.4 Million Dollar court settlement. He is anal workaholic who is constantly frustrated by the incompetence around him. Especially his sons, Jim Mora Jr., and his roommates. Also never ask him about the "PLAYOFFS!?"



and Allen Iverson
former good basketball player

The always tittering on the brink of killing someone Allen Iverson is forced to move into the small apartment when he loses his entire fortune by attempting to one up Pac-Man Jones by making it rain with 102 Million Dollars after being banned for life from the NBA for suplexing George Karl. Iverson is interested more in games and having fun than worrying about getting lots of things done or engaging in self-improvement. Do not under any circumstances even utter the word "PRACTICE!" around him.



Supporting Cast:

Herm Edwards

After killing Larry Johnson by giving him 678 carries in one season Herm Edwards was disgraced and run out of the league. After losing all of his money attempting to sell his self-help series, "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAMES!", Edwards was hired as the manager of an apartment complex. He doesn't take guff from anyone from anyone especially punks who won't come to practice from 5-7 on Thursday afternoons for Mora and his YMCA men's league basketball team.




Jerome Bettis


The sagely advice giver of the apartment complex, Bettis plays a role extremely similar to that of Wilson from Home Improvement. Whenever Mora or Iverson enter an existential funk, Bettis is always there to bring them out of it with a well placed anecdote about how things used to go down in his hometown of Detriot (Yes, that's right, hes from Detriot). Like Wilson Jerome's face is always partial obscured by an object, in this instance large stacks of food. For instance, in the first episode Jerome is blocked from site by a mountain of Doritos bags he purchased for dinner.



Michael Vick and Jim Mora Jr.




After losing his job Junior lost all of his money betting at Michael Vick's dog fights, but after being convicted of being the Nick Zito of the "Dog UFC" world Vick too lost all of his money when to feel good again he attempted to top Iverson's record Rain Making by dropping 103 Million Dollars on a single stripper at the Gold Club. Iverson continues to claim Vick only rained 101 Million, but they remain friends none the less. Vick is the major trouble maker of the group and after three years attempting to coach Vick by simply doing whatever he said Mora after losing his job could not adjust to actually making decisions for himself so he moved in with Vick because he needed someone to smoke with. They live 3 apartments down from Iverson and Mora and are often around causing mayhem usually involving Iverson to the ire Mora Sr. Since the feds continue to watch Vick closely all of his dog fighting is now run through Mora too Vick since the Feds reasonable believe Junior is not near intelligent enough to possibly run a dog fighting enterprise.



Jenna Jameson


After losing all her money after a lawsuit was filled against her after the infamous "Triple Platypus" position she tried in her "Sluts McKenzie Investigates Your Pants" Jameson was left penniless and unable to again work in porn because of her ruined name (come on, its a sitcom, not reality) and moved into the apartment complex next to Mora and Iverson. In constant need of the boys to move things and put things on the wall she is a constant source of tension between the roomies. Mora is always flustered by her and beings to say stupid things while its hinted that her and Iverson are intimately involved Three's Company style.


Sorry, its just an interview



Spider-man


Spider-man, Spider-man
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spider-man





Pilot Episode Plot:

Open Credits: Exactly like the below video with Iverson of course not being dressed to Mora's standard (hes wearing a bald eagle skin shoes) of the two with the exception of Mora punching everyone he meets in the face and Iverson always having a 40 in one hand and a blunt in the other.



Open Scene: Jim Mora walks into his new apartment and attempts to smell its fresh cleanliness only to be hit with the stench of bong and beer. Out walks Allen Iverson. Mora and Iverson talk and realize they are roommates and that they are different from each other (deep stuff). Iverson despite thinking that Mora is a "Jive Ass Sucka" invites Mora to be on the YMCA the apartment manager told him about. Mora accepts then slaughters a baby penguin with a bone saw.

Scene #2: Herm Edwards walks into to discuss strategy for their first game with the roomies, but he is interrupted by Jameson who needs a picture from her "Austin 4.7*10^19" hung on the wall. Mora jumps to his feet to help but instead of saying nice to met you says, "Nice to meet boobs" (high comedy is the show's goal). Iverson steps in and goes off to hang the picture and soon after while Mora and Edwards discuss strategy loud screams are heard from Jameson's room.

Scene #3: Its the first game of the year and Iverson, despite not attending practice to Mora's displeasure, attempts to play anyway. Mora Jr. and Vick the other two members of the team don't care if he plays because they are too busy taking bets on the night's dog fight. Edwards just wants to know if hes gonna play to win the game. Game ensues. Iverson shots 13-78 buts manages to put up 34 points and be happy despite their lose. Mora and Iverson argue after the game with following conversation.

Mora: YOU NEED TO COME TO PRACTICE TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: Were talkin' bout practice.
Mora: PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: PRACTICE!
Mora: PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: PRACTICE!
Mora: PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: PRACTICE!
Mora: PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: PRACTICE!
Mora: PLAYOFFS!
Iverson: PRACTICE!

Scene #4: A montage of Iverson not attending practice and still shooting alot in games begins. Throughout the montage Michael Vick and Junior wear shirts that say, "I was once a rich millionaire in the NFL and all I got was this T-shirt and Gonorrhea" which progressively get rattier as the montage goes on.

Scene #5: Cuts in as Mora and Iverson end an argument as Iverson slams the apartment door shut as he leaves. Hearing the commotion outside Jerome Bettis hollers to Iverson to come into his apartment. Iverson calls him, "The Kool-Aid Man's Black Cousin", but enters the room anyway. After Iverson explains his problem to "The Bus", Jerome regals Iverson of a story about when he was growing up in Detriot and he didn't attend practice because he was bowling and how they won anyway because someone ran over the other team's best player the day before the game all while standing behind a mountain of Doritos which he snacks on through out the conversation. Realizing the moral of the story, Iverson leaves the room, walks to the opposing apartment complex they will be playing for the final playoff spot and bludgeons their best player with a hammer.

Scene #6: It turns out Iverson mistakenly attacked the players son since he seemed the right age for a basketball star so the opposing team's star (guess star Greg Oden) is ready to play for revenge. Vick and Mora are so high they can't even spell ball (they never could spell basket), so Iverson is forced to do it all since Mora sucks at anything not involving deadly force or the letters P-L-A-Y-O-F-S. Herm is busy lecturing the scorekeeper about playing to win the scorekeep. With the game close and the last playoff spot on the line Mora calls timeout with 3 seconds left. He calls a play for himself to bitch and moan until the refs simple give them the win, but Iverson says no and demands the rock, he claims he always gets hot after his first 220 shots. Vick and Mora are too busy walking their dogs on treadmills to pay attention to which play they vote for so Iverson wins out. The ball is inbounded, Iverson drives quickly for the slam, Oden moves in for the block. When suddenly (DICK VITALE announcing), "SPIDER-MAN JUST FLEW IN, GRABBED IVERSON, AND PICKED UP IVERSON OVER ODEN FOR DIPSY DOO DUNKAROO BABY!". Mora and Iverson winning pleases Edwards, make the playoffs pleases Mora, and Iverson scored alot pleasing Iverson. Cue Credits.


Featuring the events of the Episode


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