A.K.A approximately 14 minutes from when this is posted.
Tomorrow should be another productive day here at the Daily Sports Tome. Same old stuff. The Good, The Bad, and the stuff I write. Expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the man who I spent my night watching a biography on, I'm out on this...
The Problem With Sports
Want to know why I can't wait for football season to begin. The Sports Headlines. What are the top stories on ESPN.com?- Giants moving forward as if DE Strahan is retiring
- Bonds in lineup, Selig on hand as chase hits L.A.
- Glavine tries to follow Maddux into 300-win club
- Report: Police found cocaine in home of Rod Beck
- Retired general censured in Tillman cover-up
- Agent: Pacman won't wrestle for TNA during ban
- Yankees trade Proctor to Dodgers for Betemit
- Expert: Docs show Tour winner Contador doped
- Rawlings is latest sponsor to give Vick the boot
- Mets' Beltran lands on DL; Lo Duca feeling better
I Hate That Trickerization
With the sports world in a deep coma the last couple of months, potential ideas and stories continue to dry out faster than Lindsey Lohan's career outside of the porn industry. So today, I bring you a list of the my favorite 10 trick plays in football history (hopefully without missing any of the truly historical ones). It's always fun to see a game of physical aggression and dominance be won by simply outsmarting your opponent. It's part of what makes football great. The ability to beat someone physically superior by better planning and execution. It is one of the reasons football is the greatest sport in the world. Enjoy.
#10 "Coach Wrong Ball"
#9 "Guy Malzahn Special"
#8 "The Statue of Liberty"
#7 "The Play I Personally Used To Draw Up And Try To Get My O-Coordinator To Run"
#6 "Son of Guy Malzahn"
#5 "The Too Much Work"
#4 "The Bounce Pass"
#3 "Da Jump Pass"
#2 "The How Did You Let This Happen This Easily!?"
#1 "The Boise Light"
I wanted to include the fake spike and the fumblerooskie, but alas, there are not any videos to be found online of them. Of course, the Top 10 listing is not reflective necessarily of which of those ten were the best. The top trick play is whichever will work for you in the situation your in at the current time in the game. So until Malzahn and Urban Meyer come up with something new, I'm out.
#10 "Coach Wrong Ball"
#9 "Guy Malzahn Special"
#8 "The Statue of Liberty"
#7 "The Play I Personally Used To Draw Up And Try To Get My O-Coordinator To Run"
#6 "Son of Guy Malzahn"
#5 "The Too Much Work"
#4 "The Bounce Pass"
#3 "Da Jump Pass"
#2 "The How Did You Let This Happen This Easily!?"
#1 "The Boise Light"
I wanted to include the fake spike and the fumblerooskie, but alas, there are not any videos to be found online of them. Of course, the Top 10 listing is not reflective necessarily of which of those ten were the best. The top trick play is whichever will work for you in the situation your in at the current time in the game. So until Malzahn and Urban Meyer come up with something new, I'm out.
Son of By (Insert Date)
I think trying to spell out all of my site goals for the next days in extreme detail my by entering the recycling bin, but I still want to sign off each night and give a little bit of details concerning this site's future each day.
Tomorrow, I will continue working on getting the some info (even if its only a few tidbits) about the secret project online. The research phase is rounding back into form, but I like I said yesterday, it can no longer be none for my good old desktop.
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the show I spent an hour (and few hundred hours in the past)watching tonight, I'm out on this...
Tomorrow, I will continue working on getting the some info (even if its only a few tidbits) about the secret project online. The research phase is rounding back into form, but I like I said yesterday, it can no longer be none for my good old desktop.
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the show I spent an hour (and few hundred hours in the past)watching tonight, I'm out on this...
The Tome of Knowledge
It's time for a nightly dose of Wikipedia factification. It's the top five random facts I found while searching through Wikipedia related to sports. The text is pulled directly from the site unless slightly edited to clarify names and places. In honor of Bill Walsh, one of the greatest offensive minds of the last 50 years in football, today's facts will all relate to him and his tree. Let's get moving.
#1 The Bill Walsh Coaching Tree.
His effect on the game will last forever.
#2 Mike Holmgren started out as a tight end before becoming a standout quarterback at San Francisco's Lincoln High School, where he was named "Prep Athlete of the Year" in 1965 and graduated in 1966. He continued his playing career as a quarterback at University of Southern California from 1966-69.
Holmgren SMASH!
#3 The quality of Andy Reid's work with the Packers attracted considerable notice from throughout the league, leading to his being hired as the head coach of the Eagles on January 11, 1999. At the time, many in the local media in Philadelphia criticized the hiring, citing the availability of other candidates who had past records of success as head coaches.
Someone told him they were out of donuts.
#4 Before the 2003 season, Jim Fassel was reunited with a son, John Mathieson, who he and his wife Kitty gave up for adoption in 1969. The couple was unmarried when he was born.
For when you say, "You know, I hate the establishment, but I love advertising for people."
#5 Marty Morhinweg was a backup quarterback for the Denver Dynamite in the Arena Football League in 1987 after spending four years calling signals at the University of Montana. He completed 3 of 4 passes for 30 yards and was sacked twice in a backup role. His team, however, went onto with the inaugural ArenaBowl I with a 45-16 victory over the Pittsburgh Gladiators - a team that featured current U. of Arizona Head Coach Mike Stoops.
Remember the time he declined the ball before OT. That's funnier than any joke I've got.
#1 The Bill Walsh Coaching Tree.
His effect on the game will last forever.Holmgren SMASH!Someone told him they were out of donuts.For when you say, "You know, I hate the establishment, but I love advertising for people."Remember the time he declined the ball before OT. That's funnier than any joke I've got.Once again, R.I.P. Bill Walsh, a person truly worth talking about when he died (unlike alot of them). You da man. I'm out.
He's drawing slants in heaven now.
He's drawing slants in heaven now.Goes Together Like Apple Pie and Syphilis
It seemed to be that two months ago there was a great story about how this:
And this:
Would never go together. This led of course to this guy:
Giving approximately 1.2 Billion interviews about the racial perception of Boston. Now apparently though, it's all water under the bridge as the trade is back on. I'm glad to see we wasted 2 months waiting on something that should have either happened or been dropped back in June. But more importantly, what does this mean for the two teams involved. First, the Minnesota Timberwolves:
Under the proposed deal, it appears the Fightin' McHales would send up Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Ricky Davis, Al Jeffereson, and Theo Ratliff out to do battle each night with the likes of Mark Madsen, Gerald Green, and Marko Jaric coming off the bench to spell those superstars. This team, while full of potential, would undoubtablely be on of the worst in the NBA. That may not be a terrible thing though. Consider this scenario:
1) The Timberwolves spend the 07'-08' season being terrible while giving all their younger players heavy minutes to develop.
2) At the end of the season they let Theo Ratliff go giving them about 14 Million Dollars in cap space before they have to re-sign anyone.
3) They receive an extremely high draft pick which could easily turn into Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley.
4) They let Ricky Davis go since his contract expired, sign a decent player in the 8-10 Million Dollar Range for a four years (maybe Antawn Jamison could be signed without giving out a 5-6 year deal, he may want to find a contender to sign with though but hopefully money talks) with their cap space, hand Al Jefferson an extension, and do something with Gerald Green depending on how he performs.
5) They can then trot out of line-up either Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Antawn Jamison, Michael Beasley, Al Jefferson or maybe Derrick Rose, Corey Brewer, Gerald Green, Antawn Jamison, and Al Jefferson with Randy Foye in the Ben Gordan role.
6) The 08-09 Celtics would then be competitive enough to gun for the 8th seed in the west while being absolutely loaded for the future
All of those possibilities and extreme optimism aside (pulling that off and having it work is much more of a pipe dream than reality), the Timberwolves are in trouble no matter what they do so they might as well trade KG and see what happens. There not going to get a better offer than what they have now at this point anyway especially at the trade deadline (everyone is scared of it now).
On the Celtics side, how does this trade look:
How does a starting line-up of Rajon Rando, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Ryan Gomes, and Kevin Garnett sound? It sounds good enough to win the horrible East to me. Despite the fact that will have hardly anyone worthwhile coming off the bench (pray Glen Davis can play in the NBA) this team could easily move into contender status especially considering under this "go for broke" move Danny Ainge should be trading anything hes (picks included) to insure this team has the best chance it can to win this season.
With Garnett banging inside against the weak Eastern bigs, Ray Allen sliding comfortable into the role of shooter extraordinaire with the pressure and burden of team carrying, Paul slashing and shooting, Rajon Rondo focusing on his defense, and whoever is playing beside Garnett focusing on rebounding, this team surely could be Lebron James (if they can find someone to guard him). The future is bleak with this team as in 3 years they will likely be starting Rajon Rondo, Deshawn Stephenson, Paul Pierce's shadow, Brian Scalabrine, and 49 year old Greg Oden, but for now they look good enough. Not good, simply good enough. Giving up what basically amounts to a player who may never develop (Gerald Green) and a productive young big for a shot at a title does not seem to big of a sacrifice as long as going for it all now is what you truly desire. If you have any hopes for the future, this trade is dumber than taking the under on Lohan arrests.
So with all that said, can we please quit waiting and make this happen. At the minimum it will at least get the Sports Guy to write a column...
And this:Would never go together. This led of course to this guy:
Giving approximately 1.2 Billion interviews about the racial perception of Boston. Now apparently though, it's all water under the bridge as the trade is back on. I'm glad to see we wasted 2 months waiting on something that should have either happened or been dropped back in June. But more importantly, what does this mean for the two teams involved. First, the Minnesota Timberwolves:
Under the proposed deal, it appears the Fightin' McHales would send up Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Ricky Davis, Al Jeffereson, and Theo Ratliff out to do battle each night with the likes of Mark Madsen, Gerald Green, and Marko Jaric coming off the bench to spell those superstars. This team, while full of potential, would undoubtablely be on of the worst in the NBA. That may not be a terrible thing though. Consider this scenario:
1) The Timberwolves spend the 07'-08' season being terrible while giving all their younger players heavy minutes to develop.
2) At the end of the season they let Theo Ratliff go giving them about 14 Million Dollars in cap space before they have to re-sign anyone.
3) They receive an extremely high draft pick which could easily turn into Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley.
4) They let Ricky Davis go since his contract expired, sign a decent player in the 8-10 Million Dollar Range for a four years (maybe Antawn Jamison could be signed without giving out a 5-6 year deal, he may want to find a contender to sign with though but hopefully money talks) with their cap space, hand Al Jefferson an extension, and do something with Gerald Green depending on how he performs.
5) They can then trot out of line-up either Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, Antawn Jamison, Michael Beasley, Al Jefferson or maybe Derrick Rose, Corey Brewer, Gerald Green, Antawn Jamison, and Al Jefferson with Randy Foye in the Ben Gordan role.
6) The 08-09 Celtics would then be competitive enough to gun for the 8th seed in the west while being absolutely loaded for the future
All of those possibilities and extreme optimism aside (pulling that off and having it work is much more of a pipe dream than reality), the Timberwolves are in trouble no matter what they do so they might as well trade KG and see what happens. There not going to get a better offer than what they have now at this point anyway especially at the trade deadline (everyone is scared of it now).
On the Celtics side, how does this trade look:
How does a starting line-up of Rajon Rando, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Ryan Gomes, and Kevin Garnett sound? It sounds good enough to win the horrible East to me. Despite the fact that will have hardly anyone worthwhile coming off the bench (pray Glen Davis can play in the NBA) this team could easily move into contender status especially considering under this "go for broke" move Danny Ainge should be trading anything hes (picks included) to insure this team has the best chance it can to win this season.
With Garnett banging inside against the weak Eastern bigs, Ray Allen sliding comfortable into the role of shooter extraordinaire with the pressure and burden of team carrying, Paul slashing and shooting, Rajon Rondo focusing on his defense, and whoever is playing beside Garnett focusing on rebounding, this team surely could be Lebron James (if they can find someone to guard him). The future is bleak with this team as in 3 years they will likely be starting Rajon Rondo, Deshawn Stephenson, Paul Pierce's shadow, Brian Scalabrine, and 49 year old Greg Oden, but for now they look good enough. Not good, simply good enough. Giving up what basically amounts to a player who may never develop (Gerald Green) and a productive young big for a shot at a title does not seem to big of a sacrifice as long as going for it all now is what you truly desire. If you have any hopes for the future, this trade is dumber than taking the under on Lohan arrests.
So with all that said, can we please quit waiting and make this happen. At the minimum it will at least get the Sports Guy to write a column...
The Week Ahead
I am going to try to get up a complete right up about the now long running secret topic this week. It likely wont be tomorrow though, as I need to hide to the local main library branch to finish up a bit of research that is literally impossible to complete online (much to my annoyance).
Other than that, it should be a pretty normal week around here except for the fact that on Thursday I depart for approximately two weeks in Chicago to visit a pal of mine who lives there. It should not stop any sort of the regular updates to the site though since it is not a tightly budgeted time trip. Site operators who have only been on the job a few months don't deserve the luxury of time off anyway.
So in the spirit of the show I spent much of my day watching while I cleaning up the house, I'm out on this...
Other than that, it should be a pretty normal week around here except for the fact that on Thursday I depart for approximately two weeks in Chicago to visit a pal of mine who lives there. It should not stop any sort of the regular updates to the site though since it is not a tightly budgeted time trip. Site operators who have only been on the job a few months don't deserve the luxury of time off anyway.
So in the spirit of the show I spent much of my day watching while I cleaning up the house, I'm out on this...
The SEC Round-Up
I am attempting to become a writer/worker for a website specializing in a subject near and dear to my heart, University of Kentucky sports. I wrote this piece as a try-out piece from them. Each of the little entries related to an article from various webpages. I can't easily translate those links from word though so they will remain MIA. I just wanted to update everyone on what I am up to though. Enjoy.
The SEC Round-Up
Let’s go around the southeast and see what’s up this weekend.
General News -
Everyone appears to think the world is coming to an end because kick-offs moved back the immeasurable distance of… 5 yards.
The media votes are in. Who will be your next All-SEC pre-season players and team champions?
Alabama –
LSU is busy pretending that the game against the Fightin’ Nick Sabans is no big deal.
The top offensive lineman in Alabama agrees to play for Nick the Slick.
What do King Saban’s players have to say about this year’s team?
Basketball coach Mark Gottfried is busy help coach team USA at the Pan-American games.
Arkansas –
Houston Nutt is still unable to escape the biggest 10 win disaster of his career.
What did the reporters down in Arkansas think was important during SEC Media day?
It appears by the poll on this page that Arkansas is not too excited about the Kentucky football game.
Auburn –
I have go to learn how I can get a scholarship to practice basketball in Cancun like Auburn’s squad.
This Auburn newspaper blogger does not have a very opinion of Andre Woodson or pre-season All-SEC selections.
What do the local Auburn students think about the upcoming football season?
Florida –
What are the Florida students writing about Steve Superior now?
Urban Meyer loves throwing out great new ideas like, every game is tough.
It also appears the Tim Tebow may not be Florida’s leading rusher this season.
Proof that our long statewide nightmare is finally over.
Georgia –
With the summer being slow, Georgia’s Student Newspaper covers the only football available.
Georgia Basketball enters the 21st century by starting the process of draining what cash is left in their fans pockets.
Skinny Old Georgian Fred Gibson was cut from the Falcons, but one time 19th year senior D.J. Shockley remains.
LSU –
The Tigers won’t hear any pads popping until August the 8th.
Have no fear, LSU is quickly moving to bring a new deadly caged animal into their fold.
It appears Brandon Bass and Glen Davis, who couldn’t stop Chuck Hayes, are doing well in the NBA summer league.
Mississippi State –
I usually like to have heard of a team’s media day representative.
Jacob Tamme better watch out, a MSU TE is gunning for him.
Some people think it’s time to drop Croom and don’t mind saying so.
South Carolina –
Superior stumbled off the golf course long enough of to hit on housewives for charity.
It turns out South Carolina has been playing basketball for 100 years. No mention of the word good.
It appears voluntary like in most football programs means anything but.
Tennessee –
News of the ironies of college sports has begun to seep into Knoxville now apparently.
Trouble and Tennessee. It’s alliteration, It has to go together,
One national championship doesn’t buy you a job for life. Just ask Fulmer.
Tennessee basketball writers apparently did not take kindly to Chris Lofton not making the trip to the Pan Am Games.
Vanderbilt –
Try to guess the one Vanderbilt team that went to visit the White House.
At least being a Vandy fan won’t require you to get a loan.
Vandy basketball, much like UK, is still recruiting and signing for the upcoming season.
If you build it, maybe you can charge half what UK does for tickets. New Vandy Stadium?
Now, let’s move on to the only topic that really matter. Your University of Kentucky Wildcats/Fightin’ Gillispies.
-Of all the events that have occurred in the last week surrounding the University, the most important of any of them by far is the soda switch. The repercussions of moving from Pepsi to Coke will have far reaching effects that will be felt for decades to come inside the Athletics Department. I can see some recruit becoming leery of a University that cannot even pick a soda company. We don’t need any flip-floppers around here to bring as down while everything is looking up.
-In less important news, the basketball team’s schedule was released to much hoopla despite the fact is basically the same as every years for most intensive purposes. I still can’t shake the feeling though that it just seems a little weaker than it has the last couple of years. Maybe its just because all of the sudden playing in the SEC doesn’t mean having to play a team with an all lottery pick front court twice a year.
-The local UK beat reporter’s take on the recent SEC media days.
-I hate that the UK vs. Louisville was moved to the third game this season, but according to all the people that insisted or fought the move, it is still an important game. Early September will never be the same again.
-Get ready for all the upcoming UK football events this summer.
-Old Chip Cosby is back to break down UK’s schedule. Since, of course, no one has already done that anywhere else and it’s not an obvious thing…
-33 days till kickoff. Too bad UK couldn’t be bothered to play that one game that always excited everyone for months leading up to it. Oh well, EKU sure will be a blast. Just like reading a Peter King colonoscopy column. So get your depth chart memorized.
Until tomorrow, this was Tim Riley brining you all the news from around the SEC. Oh, and this…
The SEC Round-Up
Let’s go around the southeast and see what’s up this weekend.
General News -
Everyone appears to think the world is coming to an end because kick-offs moved back the immeasurable distance of… 5 yards.
The media votes are in. Who will be your next All-SEC pre-season players and team champions?
Alabama –
LSU is busy pretending that the game against the Fightin’ Nick Sabans is no big deal.
The top offensive lineman in Alabama agrees to play for Nick the Slick.
What do King Saban’s players have to say about this year’s team?
Basketball coach Mark Gottfried is busy help coach team USA at the Pan-American games.
Arkansas –
Houston Nutt is still unable to escape the biggest 10 win disaster of his career.
What did the reporters down in Arkansas think was important during SEC Media day?
It appears by the poll on this page that Arkansas is not too excited about the Kentucky football game.
Auburn –
I have go to learn how I can get a scholarship to practice basketball in Cancun like Auburn’s squad.
This Auburn newspaper blogger does not have a very opinion of Andre Woodson or pre-season All-SEC selections.
What do the local Auburn students think about the upcoming football season?
Florida –
What are the Florida students writing about Steve Superior now?
Urban Meyer loves throwing out great new ideas like, every game is tough.
It also appears the Tim Tebow may not be Florida’s leading rusher this season.
Proof that our long statewide nightmare is finally over.
Georgia –
With the summer being slow, Georgia’s Student Newspaper covers the only football available.
Georgia Basketball enters the 21st century by starting the process of draining what cash is left in their fans pockets.
Skinny Old Georgian Fred Gibson was cut from the Falcons, but one time 19th year senior D.J. Shockley remains.
LSU –
The Tigers won’t hear any pads popping until August the 8th.
Have no fear, LSU is quickly moving to bring a new deadly caged animal into their fold.
It appears Brandon Bass and Glen Davis, who couldn’t stop Chuck Hayes, are doing well in the NBA summer league.
Mississippi State –
I usually like to have heard of a team’s media day representative.
Jacob Tamme better watch out, a MSU TE is gunning for him.
Some people think it’s time to drop Croom and don’t mind saying so.
South Carolina –
Superior stumbled off the golf course long enough of to hit on housewives for charity.
It turns out South Carolina has been playing basketball for 100 years. No mention of the word good.
It appears voluntary like in most football programs means anything but.
Tennessee –
News of the ironies of college sports has begun to seep into Knoxville now apparently.
Trouble and Tennessee. It’s alliteration, It has to go together,
One national championship doesn’t buy you a job for life. Just ask Fulmer.
Tennessee basketball writers apparently did not take kindly to Chris Lofton not making the trip to the Pan Am Games.
Vanderbilt –
Try to guess the one Vanderbilt team that went to visit the White House.
At least being a Vandy fan won’t require you to get a loan.
Vandy basketball, much like UK, is still recruiting and signing for the upcoming season.
If you build it, maybe you can charge half what UK does for tickets. New Vandy Stadium?
Now, let’s move on to the only topic that really matter. Your University of Kentucky Wildcats/Fightin’ Gillispies.
-Of all the events that have occurred in the last week surrounding the University, the most important of any of them by far is the soda switch. The repercussions of moving from Pepsi to Coke will have far reaching effects that will be felt for decades to come inside the Athletics Department. I can see some recruit becoming leery of a University that cannot even pick a soda company. We don’t need any flip-floppers around here to bring as down while everything is looking up.
-In less important news, the basketball team’s schedule was released to much hoopla despite the fact is basically the same as every years for most intensive purposes. I still can’t shake the feeling though that it just seems a little weaker than it has the last couple of years. Maybe its just because all of the sudden playing in the SEC doesn’t mean having to play a team with an all lottery pick front court twice a year.
-The local UK beat reporter’s take on the recent SEC media days.
-I hate that the UK vs. Louisville was moved to the third game this season, but according to all the people that insisted or fought the move, it is still an important game. Early September will never be the same again.
-Get ready for all the upcoming UK football events this summer.
-Old Chip Cosby is back to break down UK’s schedule. Since, of course, no one has already done that anywhere else and it’s not an obvious thing…
-33 days till kickoff. Too bad UK couldn’t be bothered to play that one game that always excited everyone for months leading up to it. Oh well, EKU sure will be a blast. Just like reading a Peter King colonoscopy column. So get your depth chart memorized.
Until tomorrow, this was Tim Riley brining you all the news from around the SEC. Oh, and this…
The Real American Heroes
American Gladiators is one of the greatest shows in the history of this nation. I am here today to experience it's greatness once again as it is good enough to be aired extremely late at night on a premium cable station. Let's get moving.
- You have to love the inspiration opening music. It makes you think that anything of real importance is going to happen in that arena.
- Normally it always seemed to me that the competitors were extremely nonathletic, but today seems to be the exception. You have a woman with a jaw more cut than mine, a Chippendale's dancer, and a former UCLA football player. Oh, and a waitress. I'm sure she'll have no problem competing.
- Apparently this is some sort of Alumni event for the Gladiators so everyone on the show has won a match before. Because it's a real testament to them to have beaten one average person. People were I'm sure clamoring for their return.
- Is it possible to listen to the names of the gladiators anymore without thinking of the movie Dodgeball?
- I can't believe Larry Csonka is commentating on this show. It's fun looking back nearly20 years and watching people who had been washed up for near 20 years when what you were watching was filmed.
- Apparently when American Gladiator was being filmed their was a nationwide barber strike. I've seen better hair in Danny De Vito's armpit.
- Csonka's eyes don't move off the female's racks at any point while he interviews them.
- I love how American Gladiator was always suppose to be some sort of massive tournament. Can anyone name me a winner? It always just seemed like random people were always just competing to me. I guess that's what syndication does to a game. Imagine the football season this way. USC is the national champs! Tune in next week to see them take on SMU.
- They really need to get steroids to the Gladiators ASAP. There are 4 or 5 guys at the gym I go to as buff as they are. Where is Barry Bonds when you need him?
- A sign of the times. In the audience there can be seen multiple normal looking males wearing pink T-shirts. I would rather die than put one of those on. It's a matter of principle.
- Cardio must not be a big sticking point with the contestants or the gladiators. They are all winded after jousting with each other for 30 seconds. Whats the next event? The Mile Jog. Finish under 20 minutes and get 10 points. Finish period and you get 5. This will be a tough one.
- You gotta love a show where the one black person is given the name Blaze. Stereotyping is wrong. But funny. R.I.P Dave Chappelle (what he's not dead? he must have just made himself irrelevant somehow...)
- There is no excuse for a gladiator losing at Joust. They only have superior physical skills and all day to practice. It's like Jordan getting beaten one-on-one by Rick, the guy who's 10th in scoring in your YMCA league.
- Powerball, the game that proves why all of the men Gladiators are not professional football players. Why they thought that taking extremely muscular body builders and forcing them to work in space while displaying their lackluster tackling skills is beyond me. There is no excuse for anyone scoring in that game. Even Deion Sanders is more physical than these guys. The women hit better than they do.
- It must be another sign of the times. The women seem to be wearing full body suits during the entire competition. Apparently they did not want any of their 10 year old fans reaching puberty while watching their show. I think Season 5 was the Islamic Fundamentalist Edition. Less Skin than Lohan Sober Nights!
- I always remembered The Wall as being one of the coolest events. It always had a very epic feel to it. Today I may have to call into question that memory. Both of the gladiators were able to pull the competitors down with setting foot on the wall. One guy fell on his own. The other, the gladiators simply jumped and grabbed his foot. How lame.
- Hang Tough. One of the best events ever. It has a strict time limit to get across so all of the contestant and gladiator are forced to confront each other. Trying to get around the gladiator takes too long and is near impossible so you know you are going to see some action. Too bad body builders don't spend more time actually being athletic, then this would be even more fun.
- What the hell!? Remember on the line above where I said Hang Tough forces the action? Well, one of the chicks just climbed straight across while the gladiator was stuck momentumless hanging off to the side. Now that's good TV.
- I'm glad to see everyone came to play today though considering Mr. Strip is up 20 points on UCLA and the blue woman (with a jaw like Clint Eastwood) is up 20 points on another woman who can only be described as a midget.
- I wonder what kind of royalties the Gladiators get on these reruns. There has to be only like 3 people including me watching this at 1 A.M. on ESPN Classic. Maybe they just send them a commemorative key chain or something every year. I'll have to look into that.
- Atlas Sphere is normally a pretty entertaining game. 4 people rolling around in hamster balls has to make for good TV. That is unless one of the gladiators spends 3/4's of the match pinning one of the competitors up against the wall so that he can't move at all. Apparently this was Turbo's first go at the game. I'm sure they told him to stop. The game shouldn't be fixed, but come on. It's TV. You gotta entertain.
- Turbo (who is sporting two ear rings in the same ear) just told Larry Csonka that he can be his first big fan. At least that's what I think he said. He rambled on about Csonka giving away football pads or something then smiled while Larry tried to recall all the racks he spend the last 40 minute staring at.
- You know, maybe it's just the 2 A.M. talking, but Lace and Diamond don't look so bad.
- I always hated the shooting game where you run for cover while a gladiator shoots tennis balls at the contestant. It just seems sort of dumb to force people to test their luck trying to win based on shooting air propelled weapon's they have never fired before under stress. Plus they always like to pretend like the Tennis balls are going to cause serious damage. If that was the case, every pro tennis player in the world would be dead.
- The entire show I think simply makes me happy because it reminds me of all the things you wish you could do as a kid. Doing that stuff would be great right now, but if I was 10 or 11, it would be heaven. I demand they reform American Gladiators and make me A) A Gladiator by the name of Super King (thanks Futurama) or B) Larry Csonka.
- It's time for the finish. The eliminator. They always seem to randomly switch how many points you get per second of victory and whether both competitors start at the same time. When they start simultaneously, I think it kills the drama because you have no sense of the time really. It should be whoever crosses the finish line first wins the match. That's drama.
- Since Mrs. Skullcrusher and Mr. Naked for Fat Old Ladies are both up about 25 points this is a mere formality, but it's worth watching anyway just to see if I remember the whole thing right.
- In hindsight, The Eliminator is sort of lame. There is nothing particularly difficult about it. If a cargo net is your biggest challenge you've got a problem. They couldn't have added more reverse treadmills, more climbs, or even some monkey bars to the event. Give me a break. My grandma could complete this thing in less than a minute.
- Funniest part of the show. Watching the midget chick struggle to get back onto the course as she falls off twice. I'm really surprised she was able to at all. Between this and falling of her own accord on Hang Tough she really represented well for all the waitresses of this fine nation.
- And with some final pandering you did good, I did good, we all did good interviews the show is over. I can't wait til 8 A.M. when we can all do it again.
- You have to love the inspiration opening music. It makes you think that anything of real importance is going to happen in that arena.
- Normally it always seemed to me that the competitors were extremely nonathletic, but today seems to be the exception. You have a woman with a jaw more cut than mine, a Chippendale's dancer, and a former UCLA football player. Oh, and a waitress. I'm sure she'll have no problem competing.
- Apparently this is some sort of Alumni event for the Gladiators so everyone on the show has won a match before. Because it's a real testament to them to have beaten one average person. People were I'm sure clamoring for their return.
- Is it possible to listen to the names of the gladiators anymore without thinking of the movie Dodgeball?
- I can't believe Larry Csonka is commentating on this show. It's fun looking back nearly20 years and watching people who had been washed up for near 20 years when what you were watching was filmed.
- Apparently when American Gladiator was being filmed their was a nationwide barber strike. I've seen better hair in Danny De Vito's armpit.- Csonka's eyes don't move off the female's racks at any point while he interviews them.
- I love how American Gladiator was always suppose to be some sort of massive tournament. Can anyone name me a winner? It always just seemed like random people were always just competing to me. I guess that's what syndication does to a game. Imagine the football season this way. USC is the national champs! Tune in next week to see them take on SMU.
- They really need to get steroids to the Gladiators ASAP. There are 4 or 5 guys at the gym I go to as buff as they are. Where is Barry Bonds when you need him?
- A sign of the times. In the audience there can be seen multiple normal looking males wearing pink T-shirts. I would rather die than put one of those on. It's a matter of principle.
- Cardio must not be a big sticking point with the contestants or the gladiators. They are all winded after jousting with each other for 30 seconds. Whats the next event? The Mile Jog. Finish under 20 minutes and get 10 points. Finish period and you get 5. This will be a tough one.- You gotta love a show where the one black person is given the name Blaze. Stereotyping is wrong. But funny. R.I.P Dave Chappelle (what he's not dead? he must have just made himself irrelevant somehow...)
- There is no excuse for a gladiator losing at Joust. They only have superior physical skills and all day to practice. It's like Jordan getting beaten one-on-one by Rick, the guy who's 10th in scoring in your YMCA league.
- Powerball, the game that proves why all of the men Gladiators are not professional football players. Why they thought that taking extremely muscular body builders and forcing them to work in space while displaying their lackluster tackling skills is beyond me. There is no excuse for anyone scoring in that game. Even Deion Sanders is more physical than these guys. The women hit better than they do.
- It must be another sign of the times. The women seem to be wearing full body suits during the entire competition. Apparently they did not want any of their 10 year old fans reaching puberty while watching their show. I think Season 5 was the Islamic Fundamentalist Edition. Less Skin than Lohan Sober Nights!
- I always remembered The Wall as being one of the coolest events. It always had a very epic feel to it. Today I may have to call into question that memory. Both of the gladiators were able to pull the competitors down with setting foot on the wall. One guy fell on his own. The other, the gladiators simply jumped and grabbed his foot. How lame.
- Hang Tough. One of the best events ever. It has a strict time limit to get across so all of the contestant and gladiator are forced to confront each other. Trying to get around the gladiator takes too long and is near impossible so you know you are going to see some action. Too bad body builders don't spend more time actually being athletic, then this would be even more fun.
- What the hell!? Remember on the line above where I said Hang Tough forces the action? Well, one of the chicks just climbed straight across while the gladiator was stuck momentumless hanging off to the side. Now that's good TV.
- I'm glad to see everyone came to play today though considering Mr. Strip is up 20 points on UCLA and the blue woman (with a jaw like Clint Eastwood) is up 20 points on another woman who can only be described as a midget.
- I wonder what kind of royalties the Gladiators get on these reruns. There has to be only like 3 people including me watching this at 1 A.M. on ESPN Classic. Maybe they just send them a commemorative key chain or something every year. I'll have to look into that.
- Atlas Sphere is normally a pretty entertaining game. 4 people rolling around in hamster balls has to make for good TV. That is unless one of the gladiators spends 3/4's of the match pinning one of the competitors up against the wall so that he can't move at all. Apparently this was Turbo's first go at the game. I'm sure they told him to stop. The game shouldn't be fixed, but come on. It's TV. You gotta entertain.
- Turbo (who is sporting two ear rings in the same ear) just told Larry Csonka that he can be his first big fan. At least that's what I think he said. He rambled on about Csonka giving away football pads or something then smiled while Larry tried to recall all the racks he spend the last 40 minute staring at.
- You know, maybe it's just the 2 A.M. talking, but Lace and Diamond don't look so bad.
- I always hated the shooting game where you run for cover while a gladiator shoots tennis balls at the contestant. It just seems sort of dumb to force people to test their luck trying to win based on shooting air propelled weapon's they have never fired before under stress. Plus they always like to pretend like the Tennis balls are going to cause serious damage. If that was the case, every pro tennis player in the world would be dead.
- The entire show I think simply makes me happy because it reminds me of all the things you wish you could do as a kid. Doing that stuff would be great right now, but if I was 10 or 11, it would be heaven. I demand they reform American Gladiators and make me A) A Gladiator by the name of Super King (thanks Futurama) or B) Larry Csonka.
- It's time for the finish. The eliminator. They always seem to randomly switch how many points you get per second of victory and whether both competitors start at the same time. When they start simultaneously, I think it kills the drama because you have no sense of the time really. It should be whoever crosses the finish line first wins the match. That's drama.
- Since Mrs. Skullcrusher and Mr. Naked for Fat Old Ladies are both up about 25 points this is a mere formality, but it's worth watching anyway just to see if I remember the whole thing right.
- In hindsight, The Eliminator is sort of lame. There is nothing particularly difficult about it. If a cargo net is your biggest challenge you've got a problem. They couldn't have added more reverse treadmills, more climbs, or even some monkey bars to the event. Give me a break. My grandma could complete this thing in less than a minute.
- Funniest part of the show. Watching the midget chick struggle to get back onto the course as she falls off twice. I'm really surprised she was able to at all. Between this and falling of her own accord on Hang Tough she really represented well for all the waitresses of this fine nation.
- And with some final pandering you did good, I did good, we all did good interviews the show is over. I can't wait til 8 A.M. when we can all do it again.
Blog-A-Beastie 3.0
Were back for another edition of Blog-A-Beastie, the game of competitive stupidity. We take a person who knows nothing about sports, me sister, ask her some questions regarding recent events and grade the responses. Let's get moving.
One of Michael Vick's co-defendant to enter into a plea agreement - "We already know they did. There guilty until proven still guilty." I happen to agree, but she didn't really confront the current issue. 3/5
Mark Bulger receives a 6-year extension from the Rams - "You mean like hair extensions?" No, not like hair extensions. 0/5
Wake Forest Basketball Coach Skip Prosser dies - "Wake Forest is stupid name. Who wakes in a forest?" True, but not applicable. 1/5
Smush Parker signs with the Miami Heat - "Is there a team called the cold?" Minnesota Cold. Has a nice ring to it. 1/5
Michael Strahan is mulling retirement - "I don't think he should because he's an asset to the team." She has no idea who this is, but she is technically giving a valid opinion. 3/5
Pepsi admits their bottled water is nothing more than tap water - "REALLY!?" I can't believe this would surprise anyone. 0/5
This Video
"Should you really be teaching prisoners to coordinate their efforts?" Very True. 5/5
So with all the questions asked we turn to the tale of the tape and add up her score. Will she crack the 50% mark for the first time ever. Drum Roll Please!
12/35=35%
Too bad. She failed to match her two previous mid-40% responses. If only she had understood at all that bottled water is the biggest rip off in the history of mankind. Better luck to her next week. Keep checking in to see if she can pass the Blog-A-Beastie Mendoze line and get up 50%. Until then, I'm out and she's out of knowledge.
One of Michael Vick's co-defendant to enter into a plea agreement - "We already know they did. There guilty until proven still guilty." I happen to agree, but she didn't really confront the current issue. 3/5
Mark Bulger receives a 6-year extension from the Rams - "You mean like hair extensions?" No, not like hair extensions. 0/5Wake Forest Basketball Coach Skip Prosser dies - "Wake Forest is stupid name. Who wakes in a forest?" True, but not applicable. 1/5Smush Parker signs with the Miami Heat - "Is there a team called the cold?" Minnesota Cold. Has a nice ring to it. 1/5Michael Strahan is mulling retirement - "I don't think he should because he's an asset to the team." She has no idea who this is, but she is technically giving a valid opinion. 3/5Pepsi admits their bottled water is nothing more than tap water - "REALLY!?" I can't believe this would surprise anyone. 0/5This Video"Should you really be teaching prisoners to coordinate their efforts?" Very True. 5/5
So with all the questions asked we turn to the tale of the tape and add up her score. Will she crack the 50% mark for the first time ever. Drum Roll Please!
12/35=35%
Too bad. She failed to match her two previous mid-40% responses. If only she had understood at all that bottled water is the biggest rip off in the history of mankind. Better luck to her next week. Keep checking in to see if she can pass the Blog-A-Beastie Mendoze line and get up 50%. Until then, I'm out and she's out of knowledge.
Today's Article...
Won't be posted until about 3 A.M because it involves something that is not happening until 1 A.M. I don't have a laptop so when its over I have to come back and type up all the notes I took, so it won't be an instant turn around. The topic you ask?
When Housewives Attack....
Does this picture scare you? How about this one?
Well, it must if your name is Michael "Dog Don" Vick.
Vick was unwillingly to be involved with these monsters and sent his attorney Billy Martin out to give a statement about his "innocence".
The Feds are going to make like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and sack Vick. He's not scrambling his way out of this one.
It's not as if he is really doing something original anyway. He's just better at it.
His coach had to have had a heart attack.
By July 28th
I don't know whats going to happen around here tomorrow. I'm so excited about my secret project turning out well that I may just spend all day throwing myself a parade. I'm got to decide how exactly to handle it here on the site though.
So in the spirit of the movie I sat to watch so I could wait to exclaim my victory over mathematics, I'm out on this...
So in the spirit of the movie I sat to watch so I could wait to exclaim my victory over mathematics, I'm out on this...
Group Think
There are always numerous great things floating up on the Internet. This week the top 10 stories/games/events/things are as follows:
#10 Can You Hit a Baseball? This game tests your ability to react quickly enough. My average time is about .16s.
#9 Soccer Moms are not to be messed with. I'm glad that when I played little league the parents just stuck to non-violent complaining.
#8 A Steeler Funeral. Replace all the yellow and black with blue and white and it's my funeral.
#7 A completely insane time for a mile race. I run it in like 6:30 and I feel like a beast. He doesn't even seem that tired from running it in 3:45.
#6 The story of the most unlucky man on the planet. This just really really sucks.
#5 Some Old Colin Cowherd Hating. I just really dislike him and his show so I always enjoy going back to read these.
#4 In case TV doesn't give you enough. You just gotta love them adding ads, doing less work on the game, and charging you more for it.
#3 A good NBA Free Agent List. Give me Ime Udoka. Good player and a likely reasonable contract.
#2 This is what our congressmen are paid for. Is it just me or do you hate every single politician other than that anti-pork (not the meat) guy?
#1 Old but you probably have never seen it. I hate parents who think that their kids are good at sports when they are truly horrible.
I'm out.
#10 Can You Hit a Baseball? This game tests your ability to react quickly enough. My average time is about .16s.
#9 Soccer Moms are not to be messed with. I'm glad that when I played little league the parents just stuck to non-violent complaining.
#8 A Steeler Funeral. Replace all the yellow and black with blue and white and it's my funeral.
#7 A completely insane time for a mile race. I run it in like 6:30 and I feel like a beast. He doesn't even seem that tired from running it in 3:45.
#6 The story of the most unlucky man on the planet. This just really really sucks.
#5 Some Old Colin Cowherd Hating. I just really dislike him and his show so I always enjoy going back to read these.
#4 In case TV doesn't give you enough. You just gotta love them adding ads, doing less work on the game, and charging you more for it.
#3 A good NBA Free Agent List. Give me Ime Udoka. Good player and a likely reasonable contract.
#2 This is what our congressmen are paid for. Is it just me or do you hate every single politician other than that anti-pork (not the meat) guy?
#1 Old but you probably have never seen it. I hate parents who think that their kids are good at sports when they are truly horrible.
I'm out.
Yesterday...
All my troubles seemed so far away, but moving on. I was relentless hyping an old episode of the Simpson's yesterday, and in a massive coincidence, ESPN.com has a big write up by Jim Caple all about it today.
I will be filing a lawsuit within the hour.
I will be filing a lawsuit within the hour.
By July 27th
The data entry on the secret project is winding down making me a very happy man, but a few hours of lonely agony still await me tomorrow. There should be an article of some shape, form and length tomorrow though at some time.
Other than that, expect a few small updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the miserable game I attempted to improve myself at today, I'm out on this...
Other than that, expect a few small updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the miserable game I attempted to improve myself at today, I'm out on this...
Keep It Moving!
Today's article is going to be very short and to the point (not much of an article really). I don't have alot of time to elaborate on anything in great depth because all of my time is still being eaten up by the secret project; however, I if not as informative, I think this piece will take as much time technically work through and be fun . It's the top 5 cartoon sports moments.
From One of the Best Simpson's Episode's Ever.
I'm surprised they allowed Stewie to play considering hes 2. And Gay.
If only they would actually do something like this.
I wonder how long it will be before I end up like this.
Around about the age of 6 I realized this.
That's it. Move along. Nothing to see here.
From One of the Best Simpson's Episode's Ever.
I'm surprised they allowed Stewie to play considering hes 2. And Gay.
If only they would actually do something like this.
I wonder how long it will be before I end up like this.
Around about the age of 6 I realized this.
That's it. Move along. Nothing to see here.
On Friday Remember This...
When you walk out of the theatre disappointed in the Simpson's movie, watch this video to remember an episode of the Simpson's back when it was actually worth watching.
I love the joke about Griffey's jaw considering what's gone on the last 10 years in baseball with steroids.
I love the joke about Griffey's jaw considering what's gone on the last 10 years in baseball with steroids.
A Tough Spot
Normally here at the Daily Sports Tome we regard this man as a comedy piece and a ball-hogging overrated basketball player.
However, today we can actually see him speaking and making a good point simultaneously. Yesterday, Allen Iverson commented on the Michael Vick case and said the following:
However, today we can actually see him speaking and making a good point simultaneously. Yesterday, Allen Iverson commented on the Michael Vick case and said the following:
"You know, I don't think it's fair to say, 'Stay away from the people you grew up with. It's hard to have a relationship with people once you're already rich. You have to have a relationship with the same people you grew up with."
And for once, I sort of have to agree with him. I know it's shocking.
With all the young athletes getting in trouble today, the most common thing everyone likes to say should be done is for them to drop all of their old friends.
But, Iverson is correct is saying that is not always so easy or doable to simply drop your old friends. Whenever massive changes occur in someone's life (and being an instant millionaire is a massive change), it's always natural to reach back to your past to find some since of normalcy. Your old friends are people who wanted to hang with you back when your diet consisted of the 99 cent menu. You feel you can trust them.
To simply tell someone to drop all of their old friends, the only people they feel they can actually trust, is extremely difficult. Other than their new teammates many of whom are older, married, and not looking for someone to hang with, who are these players suppose to turn to that they can trust. Dropping your old buddies, no matter how dumb they are (or cause you to be), is simply not an easy process. They are people you care about. Protecting one's money and integrity are vitally important, but what all does it mean if you have to alienate all your peers who were with you before you moved up in the world?
I'm not trying to defend the actions of Vick (despicable) or the Pac-Man (horrible), but I am saying that Iverson is quite right, throwing the people you grew up with out of your life, during a major time of transition in it, is never quite as easy as the old pundits would like you to believe.
With all the young athletes getting in trouble today, the most common thing everyone likes to say should be done is for them to drop all of their old friends.
But, Iverson is correct is saying that is not always so easy or doable to simply drop your old friends. Whenever massive changes occur in someone's life (and being an instant millionaire is a massive change), it's always natural to reach back to your past to find some since of normalcy. Your old friends are people who wanted to hang with you back when your diet consisted of the 99 cent menu. You feel you can trust them.
To simply tell someone to drop all of their old friends, the only people they feel they can actually trust, is extremely difficult. Other than their new teammates many of whom are older, married, and not looking for someone to hang with, who are these players suppose to turn to that they can trust. Dropping your old buddies, no matter how dumb they are (or cause you to be), is simply not an easy process. They are people you care about. Protecting one's money and integrity are vitally important, but what all does it mean if you have to alienate all your peers who were with you before you moved up in the world?
I'm not trying to defend the actions of Vick (despicable) or the Pac-Man (horrible), but I am saying that Iverson is quite right, throwing the people you grew up with out of your life, during a major time of transition in it, is never quite as easy as the old pundits would like you to believe.By July 26th
I'm currently in the brainstorming process for tomorrow's article. I should be able to come up with something worthwhile not related to the secret topic that I'm sure no one is breathless awaiting.
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the movie I saw for the second time tonight and now definitely know is horrible, I'm out on this...
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
So in the spirit of the movie I saw for the second time tonight and now definitely know is horrible, I'm out on this...
Top 5 Things David Stern Was Saying
"Come on, so a man can't even fix a few NBA games these days?"
"Just pick which hand you want across your face."
"Want to know why I'm the best commish in sports? It's got something to do with this length."
"As you can see, I have nothing up either of my sleeves. Oops wrong room."
"Look. I just work here lady."
"Just pick which hand you want across your face."
"Want to know why I'm the best commish in sports? It's got something to do with this length."
"As you can see, I have nothing up either of my sleeves. Oops wrong room."
"Look. I just work here lady."
NEWS FLASH!
Butter-Face?Live From David Stern's Head
Live Blogging/Reporting the David Stern Q&A:
-Stern claims the NBA had no idea a referee has a security problem. Kind of conflicts with the reports from yesterday.
-Stern claims he is surprised by the NBA being caught like this, but he sure doesn't sound like it. My suspicions that he was replaced with SternBot 3000 are growing stronger. Or maybe, he said it with a wink and nod, "Yeah, I'm surprised *wink*". I don't know, I'm not watching, just listening.
-WOOT! Time to get my Rachel Nichols on. Oh, she told him. She was all like, "your life's work is ruined bitch, whatcha gon do now?". Or something like that.
-Now we're debating whether to call soccer being played in Germany being discussed by Americans should be called football.
-The NBA Family Picnic is today. I'll see all of my NBA office readers there.
-I really think Steven A. Smith needs to be involved in this. Just imagine him sitting in the corner of the room yelling, "Tim Donaghy! Tim Donaghy! He's no MEHMET OKUR!".
-New York Times is asking a question now. I'm going to sleep.
-Stern keeps saying the words, "Rogue, isolated official" and "wait for the investigation to be completed"
-Man, now Stern is saying the referees of the NBA do not carry themselves with proper modesty. Are they flashing the arena off camera?
-Mark Cuban should sneak in as a reporter and start asking Stern questions. Now that'd be fun press conference.
-Stern feels betrayed by the referee. "It's nothing other than an act of betrayal." The penalty of betraying Stern is worth than death and cannot be described in words.
-The media needs to get off the escalation train. Stern just had to rebuke someone for saying this thing will continue to grow bigger because the Mob is involved. It's not like all the sudden the Mob, with all this attention being paid, is going to start trying to fix more games.
-"When did I stop beating my wife? That's what you just asked". That's what Stern said he was just asked when someone said, "How sure are you that there aren't any more corrupt referees?". That's a great comeback once you figure it out. The NBA needs to employ people yell, "No He Didn't" and "BUST!" whenever Stern does stuff like this.
-Stern just spent 20 seconds stumbling over his words so that he could say exactly what Tim Donaghy is being investigated for. He wanted to avoid the words, "Fixed Games".
-Stern say Donaghy did not gamble through Vegas. Was it online then?
-It's nice hearing all the voices from people you normally only read. Everyone from CBS, SI, and ESPN sounds pretty normal. Most actually sound younger than they look in their pics. Kudos to them.
-Tim Donaghy resigned before the NBA ever got the chance to fire him according to Stern as the NBA decided firing him would hurt the investigation.
-I swear, you cannot anger David Stern. You could punch him in the face, and he would take a deep breath and then convince you to punch yourself in the face as retribution. He has power's from Satan.
-New York Times=Sleep Time for Tim.
-Apparently Stern said 5 months ago that he was not concerned about NBA game fixing and gambling during an All-Star weekend according to NYT (OK, I wasn't really sleeping. Sue me.). He asked for the transcript and then said he didn't say it. I still say he got busted on bad.
-3 More Questions!
-Stern is running out of patience. It's about to get all Dan Patrick Show in here.
-I swear, today Stern could have answered every question with Yes and No if he wanted.
-There discussing my basketball squad now. The UK Basketball team. Unfortunately its concerning the massive gambling scandal that some of their players were involved in. No one really discusses those things around these parts too much....
-Stern says he does bet on college basketball. He does not participate in NCAA Tourney Pools. Shocking that he would say that.
-Stern states, "It is my understanding the he bet on games in which he officiated and games that he was not officiating and that he gave information to others for the purpose of allowing them to bet on games he was officiating and not officiating."
-More NYT. How many reporters do they have? They always had a copy of their paper in one of my classes last semester of school and apparently they normally don't even have a front page sports section as far as I could notice. How did NYT get more questions than ESPN?
-ESPN 3 NYT 3. Chris Sheridan just got a question.
-Stern says once a long long time ago that there was some sort of NBA gambling thing we was informed of a problem where an NBA game was taking off the Vegas gambling line for some reason.
-Apparently, its not 3 more questions. Stupid Press Conference running guy.
-"If you bet on a game, you lose the benefit of the doubt." That's tough talk considering Stern in a good old "Guilty until proven innocent" lawyer type.
-According to Stern, NBA employees are completely banned from gambling activities. Except for going to the race track in summer. That's excused.
-Stern was informed something was going on with Donaghy involving this gambling investigation about 20 days before Donaghy resigned and a month before the story broke.
-How does this effect an NBA team in Vegas? Stern doesn't know. He was suppose to have a meeting with some Vegas people recently, but he did not feel it was the proper time to be doing so now. He did not want to juxtapose them.
-He does not want to legalize gambling.
-Stern always wants to find where the question asker is. I think that's so he can burn their soul with his piercing gaze.
-The NBA decided two years ago to investigate all their employees deeply ever year 2 years ago. The decision was not motivated by anything to do with Donaghy.
-"I'm not able to answer that question openly at this time." Stern's response to what motivated Donaghy.
-Apparently the race track gambling exception was collectively bargained.
-Yahoo Sports gets a question. It's a boring question. No wonder they don't get very many.
-Same guy asks about tainted playoff games. Stern just says if there was a problem in the past that they will simply work to regain trust in the future.
-"I won't distinguish between regular and post-season."
-It seems the media has spent all their good questions. There now talking about NBA pay referee pay scale. Donaghy made $260,000 last year. Those guys get paid way to much for the job they do and how much they do it. Of course, so does everyone in the NBA.
-
Wow, look what The Big Lead just posted. I'm obviously very bored of this now.
-Apparently Donaghy is contemplating a plea agreement now according to Stern. The Source, Donaghy's lawyer.
-ESPN.com's feed of the press conference is over. It was all winding down though. Nothing interesting is left to happen as far as I can think of. I'm out. Enjoy the rest of your day.
-Stern claims the NBA had no idea a referee has a security problem. Kind of conflicts with the reports from yesterday.
-Stern claims he is surprised by the NBA being caught like this, but he sure doesn't sound like it. My suspicions that he was replaced with SternBot 3000 are growing stronger. Or maybe, he said it with a wink and nod, "Yeah, I'm surprised *wink*". I don't know, I'm not watching, just listening.
-WOOT! Time to get my Rachel Nichols on. Oh, she told him. She was all like, "your life's work is ruined bitch, whatcha gon do now?". Or something like that.
-Now we're debating whether to call soccer being played in Germany being discussed by Americans should be called football.
-The NBA Family Picnic is today. I'll see all of my NBA office readers there.
-I really think Steven A. Smith needs to be involved in this. Just imagine him sitting in the corner of the room yelling, "Tim Donaghy! Tim Donaghy! He's no MEHMET OKUR!".
-New York Times is asking a question now. I'm going to sleep.
-Stern keeps saying the words, "Rogue, isolated official" and "wait for the investigation to be completed"
-Man, now Stern is saying the referees of the NBA do not carry themselves with proper modesty. Are they flashing the arena off camera?
-Mark Cuban should sneak in as a reporter and start asking Stern questions. Now that'd be fun press conference.
-Stern feels betrayed by the referee. "It's nothing other than an act of betrayal." The penalty of betraying Stern is worth than death and cannot be described in words.
-The media needs to get off the escalation train. Stern just had to rebuke someone for saying this thing will continue to grow bigger because the Mob is involved. It's not like all the sudden the Mob, with all this attention being paid, is going to start trying to fix more games.
-"When did I stop beating my wife? That's what you just asked". That's what Stern said he was just asked when someone said, "How sure are you that there aren't any more corrupt referees?". That's a great comeback once you figure it out. The NBA needs to employ people yell, "No He Didn't" and "BUST!" whenever Stern does stuff like this.
-Stern just spent 20 seconds stumbling over his words so that he could say exactly what Tim Donaghy is being investigated for. He wanted to avoid the words, "Fixed Games".
-Stern say Donaghy did not gamble through Vegas. Was it online then?
-It's nice hearing all the voices from people you normally only read. Everyone from CBS, SI, and ESPN sounds pretty normal. Most actually sound younger than they look in their pics. Kudos to them.
-Tim Donaghy resigned before the NBA ever got the chance to fire him according to Stern as the NBA decided firing him would hurt the investigation.
-I swear, you cannot anger David Stern. You could punch him in the face, and he would take a deep breath and then convince you to punch yourself in the face as retribution. He has power's from Satan.
-New York Times=Sleep Time for Tim.
-Apparently Stern said 5 months ago that he was not concerned about NBA game fixing and gambling during an All-Star weekend according to NYT (OK, I wasn't really sleeping. Sue me.). He asked for the transcript and then said he didn't say it. I still say he got busted on bad.
-3 More Questions!
-Stern is running out of patience. It's about to get all Dan Patrick Show in here.
-I swear, today Stern could have answered every question with Yes and No if he wanted.
-There discussing my basketball squad now. The UK Basketball team. Unfortunately its concerning the massive gambling scandal that some of their players were involved in. No one really discusses those things around these parts too much....
-Stern says he does bet on college basketball. He does not participate in NCAA Tourney Pools. Shocking that he would say that.
-Stern states, "It is my understanding the he bet on games in which he officiated and games that he was not officiating and that he gave information to others for the purpose of allowing them to bet on games he was officiating and not officiating."
-More NYT. How many reporters do they have? They always had a copy of their paper in one of my classes last semester of school and apparently they normally don't even have a front page sports section as far as I could notice. How did NYT get more questions than ESPN?
-ESPN 3 NYT 3. Chris Sheridan just got a question.
-Stern says once a long long time ago that there was some sort of NBA gambling thing we was informed of a problem where an NBA game was taking off the Vegas gambling line for some reason.
-Apparently, its not 3 more questions. Stupid Press Conference running guy.
-"If you bet on a game, you lose the benefit of the doubt." That's tough talk considering Stern in a good old "Guilty until proven innocent" lawyer type.
-According to Stern, NBA employees are completely banned from gambling activities. Except for going to the race track in summer. That's excused.
-Stern was informed something was going on with Donaghy involving this gambling investigation about 20 days before Donaghy resigned and a month before the story broke.
-How does this effect an NBA team in Vegas? Stern doesn't know. He was suppose to have a meeting with some Vegas people recently, but he did not feel it was the proper time to be doing so now. He did not want to juxtapose them.
-He does not want to legalize gambling.
-Stern always wants to find where the question asker is. I think that's so he can burn their soul with his piercing gaze.
-The NBA decided two years ago to investigate all their employees deeply ever year 2 years ago. The decision was not motivated by anything to do with Donaghy.
-"I'm not able to answer that question openly at this time." Stern's response to what motivated Donaghy.
-Apparently the race track gambling exception was collectively bargained.
-Yahoo Sports gets a question. It's a boring question. No wonder they don't get very many.
-Same guy asks about tainted playoff games. Stern just says if there was a problem in the past that they will simply work to regain trust in the future.
-"I won't distinguish between regular and post-season."
-It seems the media has spent all their good questions. There now talking about NBA pay referee pay scale. Donaghy made $260,000 last year. Those guys get paid way to much for the job they do and how much they do it. Of course, so does everyone in the NBA.
-
Wow, look what The Big Lead just posted. I'm obviously very bored of this now.-Apparently Donaghy is contemplating a plea agreement now according to Stern. The Source, Donaghy's lawyer.
-ESPN.com's feed of the press conference is over. It was all winding down though. Nothing interesting is left to happen as far as I can think of. I'm out. Enjoy the rest of your day.
By July 25th
I'm sitting here staring at two options right now. Write a crappy article that probably won't be very good or very original or just cancel it for today. I'm sorry, but today I'm going to have to go without an article. I only want to put things on this site I believe are good, enjoyable, original work and at this point at night I can't do that tonight. I'm sorry.
Tomorrow should bring an article on some sort of topic along with all the usual updates that were missing today as well. Everything is just taking longer because all my research into the unnamed topic is not resulting in anything I can instantly report. A hour of work barely dents it.
So in the spirit of what I caught 5 minutes of between going various places, I'm out on this...
I want to see this guy and Ron Paul in a Steel Cage Death Match.
Tomorrow should bring an article on some sort of topic along with all the usual updates that were missing today as well. Everything is just taking longer because all my research into the unnamed topic is not resulting in anything I can instantly report. A hour of work barely dents it.
So in the spirit of what I caught 5 minutes of between going various places, I'm out on this...
I want to see this guy and Ron Paul in a Steel Cage Death Match.
This Is Not The Article You're Looking For...
"This is not the article I'm looking for." Good, because that article is coming later today (probably sometime tonight since I have to be somewhere at 11, 1, 3, and 5); however, I've always got time for some quick fun. We're rounding up the top 3 stories of the day in the following format: story, impact, opinion. We're going to try to stay under one sentence for each thing so 9 sentences total. So let's get moving. It's all you need to know in under 10 sentences.
#1 Story: Last night, a AA Baseball Manager, Mike Coolbaugh, was struck by a ball while standing in the first base box and was killed.
Impact: It should be simply viewed as a tragedy, but I'm sure someone (Woody Paige) will want to ban wooden bats now too or put nets around the base boxes.
Opinion: It's simply tragedy and should remind everyone to pay attention if they are in a possible path of a baseball.
#2 Story: My main man, Mike Decourcy, says Kobe Bryant is still acting like he is playing with Kwame Brown at the US team tryouts.
Impact: Kobe Bryant's teammates are going to be none to pleased if he does not change his ways sowing problems for the future.
Opinion: If he does not adjust to playing with other good players in the next couple of games my opinion of him will be lowered (I'm always kind of in neutral with him).
#3 Story: The NBA had their own suspicions about disgraced referee Tim Donaghy up to a year ago when they put a private investigator on his tail.
Impact: It shows the NBA was not completely caught off guard and was to police themselves but failed to find a way to act quickly enough.
Opinion: They must have had trouble generating enough evidence if this went on for so long while the NBA had an idea it was occurring.
That's it. 9 sentences. We're done (I am using to many contractions in my writing today).
#1 Story: Last night, a AA Baseball Manager, Mike Coolbaugh, was struck by a ball while standing in the first base box and was killed.
Impact: It should be simply viewed as a tragedy, but I'm sure someone (Woody Paige) will want to ban wooden bats now too or put nets around the base boxes.
Opinion: It's simply tragedy and should remind everyone to pay attention if they are in a possible path of a baseball.
#2 Story: My main man, Mike Decourcy, says Kobe Bryant is still acting like he is playing with Kwame Brown at the US team tryouts.
Impact: Kobe Bryant's teammates are going to be none to pleased if he does not change his ways sowing problems for the future.
Opinion: If he does not adjust to playing with other good players in the next couple of games my opinion of him will be lowered (I'm always kind of in neutral with him).
#3 Story: The NBA had their own suspicions about disgraced referee Tim Donaghy up to a year ago when they put a private investigator on his tail.
Impact: It shows the NBA was not completely caught off guard and was to police themselves but failed to find a way to act quickly enough.
Opinion: They must have had trouble generating enough evidence if this went on for so long while the NBA had an idea it was occurring.
That's it. 9 sentences. We're done (I am using to many contractions in my writing today).
By July 24th
I have a non-secret topic article set-up for tomorrow. It won't shatter the earth, but I think it will be an informative, enjoyable read.
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
In other news, it may be a little slow here until the secret topic is completed. Trust me when I say I am literally working myself to death. I feel like crap.
So in the spirit of the show I watched during my 20 minute break from the secret topic, I'm out on this...
Other than that, expect the usual updates throughout the day as things happen or are discovered.
In other news, it may be a little slow here until the secret topic is completed. Trust me when I say I am literally working myself to death. I feel like crap.
So in the spirit of the show I watched during my 20 minute break from the secret topic, I'm out on this...
Somene Please Explain This To Me...
Imagine your a highly competitive NBA team that has failed for 3 years to get over the hump and make an NBA finals appearance.
Your two biggest weaknesses are your financial situation and your interior defense.
You have come extremely close to the title in the past year with your current team. Maybe you were only stopped corrupt game fixing officials or difficult league rules.
With that being the case, how should you spend your off-season? Doing whatever you can to finally get over the hump without completely compromising your team and financial future hopefully.
What did they actually do though? First they sold off one of their first round picks for cash. Then they drafted 6 foot tall power forward Alando Tucker with their other.
Alright, you've kept from committing to a very small future financial burden congratulations. It definitely did not make your team any better. So whats your next move?
Or it could be to trade what interior defense you do have to save money while giving up future unprotected draft picks to do so as they choose to do. But hey, they got a second round pick in next year's draft in return.
If the next move they make is not to take the trade exception they received and bring in another elite player making all of these moves simply cost cutting measures before a spending spree then this is completely insane. If some future Hall of Famer does not walk through that door soon, then it will be clear that this man would rather have a few millions dollars than an NBA championship.
I always like to think that if I was rich enough to buy a pro sports team I would be rich enough not to mind losing 10 million a year running my club. But if this situation plays out the wrong way, then it will become all the more clear that most of the NBA billionaires would take the money and run. This makes me love Mark Cuban.
Your two biggest weaknesses are your financial situation and your interior defense.You have come extremely close to the title in the past year with your current team. Maybe you were only stopped corrupt game fixing officials or difficult league rules.With that being the case, how should you spend your off-season? Doing whatever you can to finally get over the hump without completely compromising your team and financial future hopefully.What did they actually do though? First they sold off one of their first round picks for cash. Then they drafted 6 foot tall power forward Alando Tucker with their other.
Alright, you've kept from committing to a very small future financial burden congratulations. It definitely did not make your team any better. So whats your next move?Or it could be to trade what interior defense you do have to save money while giving up future unprotected draft picks to do so as they choose to do. But hey, they got a second round pick in next year's draft in return.
If the next move they make is not to take the trade exception they received and bring in another elite player making all of these moves simply cost cutting measures before a spending spree then this is completely insane. If some future Hall of Famer does not walk through that door soon, then it will be clear that this man would rather have a few millions dollars than an NBA championship.
I always like to think that if I was rich enough to buy a pro sports team I would be rich enough not to mind losing 10 million a year running my club. But if this situation plays out the wrong way, then it will become all the more clear that most of the NBA billionaires would take the money and run. This makes me love Mark Cuban.
Good Vick Hunting
In you have not heard the most recent development in the Michael Vick case, the Falcon's QB has entered hiding because of threats made against his life by the great and powerful Senator Robert Byrd.
He's a bad, bad man.
He's a bad, bad man.According to a Fox News report Senator Byrd has the following to say about the Vick dog fighting case:
The Michael Vick dogfighting case made its way to the floor of the U.S. Senate Thursday when its most senior member publicly declared his outrage, saying he's witnessed one execution but wouldn't mind seeing another "if it involves this cruel, sadistic, cannibalistic business of training innocent, vulnerable creatures to kill."
Personally, I prefer that my US Senator does not threaten the death penalty on people who's crimes cannot even carry a 10 year prison sentence, but hey, whatever his state is down with.
His Mother is a saint.
The only way I can possible see this entire situation ending well is with a steel cage tag team match featuring Robert "The Executor" Byrd and Charlton "Dirty Ape" Heston against Ice-T and Dog Fighting Don Vick.
The First Commandment? Though Shalt Kick Ass.
Never go here.
It's tough to feel sorry for a person like Michael Vick (Innocent until proven guilty...), but I know that it can't be any fun having members of Congress calling for your death from personal experience (I used some mean "Yo Momma" jokes on Mitch McConnell).His Mother is a saint.The First Commandment? Though Shalt Kick Ass.
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